Are You Addicted to Anger?Get Coaching Information on mps-coaching.com. Are You Addicted to Anger? topic will increase your understanding on Coaching Information. We at mps-coaching.com only provide news, articles, information in Coaching Information. Coaching Information at mps-coaching.com provides the most up to date news and articles. If you have questions please do not hesitate to contact us.
Michael was raised in a home where anger was used to control. His parents used their anger to attempt to control each other as well as their children. Sometimes the anger erupted into violence and Michael and his siblings would get physically hurt. Michael never knew when one of his parents would suddenly become enraged, so the threat was always there. Michael was the oldest of four children and was often put in charge of taking care of his siblings. He often took out on his siblings his fear and rage at being abused by his parents. While some part of Michael didn’t want to be like his parents, this was all he knew. As an adult, Michael struggles with his frequent anger at his wife and children. His wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t get some help, which is what led him to consult with me. “Michael, anger is often used to cover up another, more painful feeling. What do you think you are covering up with your anger?” I asked. “I don’t know. I just get so frustrated and then out comes the anger.” “What did you feel as a child, besides scared, when your parents were angry and violent with you?” “I guess I felt pretty much alone.” “You must have felt very alone and uncared for and also helpless over what was happening.” “Yes, I felt so helpless! I hated feeling so alone and helpless. It was so scary. I couldn’t wait to get bigger so I wouldn’t feel so helpless.” “What triggers that helpless feeling now?” “Humm…I guess it’s when my wife and kids don’t do what I want them to do or what I think they should do.” “So rather than feel and accept your helplessness over them, which is the reality but is a difficult feeling to feel, you avoid feeling that old helplessness by trying to control them with your anger, just as your parents did. Is that right?” “I guess so. I guess I try to control them rather than feel helpless. But why should I feel helpless? It’s an awful feeling. “Michael, when you were a child, you were helpless over your parents brutality, and you were also helpless over yourself in many ways. You couldn’t just leave and go live with someone else. You couldn’t walk away without further punishment. However, today, while you are still helpless over others, you are not helpless over yourself. You can walk away from a situation that doesn’t feel good, or you can speak up for yourself. You can also explore difficulties with your family. You didn’t have any of these options as a child. But unless you accept your helplessness over others, you will try to control them, and anger is the way you’ve learned to do it. Anger is your automatic controlling, addictive response to protect against feeling that old helplessness. You will continue to be angry until you accept your helplessness over others - over what they choose to do and who they choose to be.” Helplessness over others is a very hard feeling to accept. For many people, it feels like a life or death feeling, because as infants we were completely helpless and if no one came we would die. Some of us cried and cried and no one came and we felt helpless over living or dying. While today helplessness over others is not usually a life or death experience, the feeling can trigger our infant terror. Most people will do anything to avoid the feeling of helplessness, even though we are no longer helpless over ourselves. Yet until we accept our helplessness over others, we will try to control them, and anger is a major way many people have learned to attempt to control. It took Michael time to learn how to take care of himself - how to embrace and accept his helpless feelings rather than ignore them or cover them up with anger. As he learned to take loving care of himself and his own feelings and needs, he became more accepting of other’s feelings and needs. As a result of accepting himself and others, and of learning to feel and manage his painful feelings, his need to control others gradually diminished. In the course of working with me, Michael learned to access a personal source of spiritual guidance to help him not feel so alone and to know how to take loving care of himself. Michael found that when he was connected with his spiritual guidance, he was much less likely to act out in anger. He found he could manage his difficult feelings of aloneness and helplessness far more easily when he felt the love and support of Spirit. The Choices Energy Psychology Manual. - Training Manual for the Choices Method by P. Carrington Ph.D. Award-winning parenting writer Lisa Cohn interviews Mark Hamilton, a
professor of philosophy who teaches college courses in sports ethics at
Ashland University. The former college player, former college coach, youth sports coach and sports parent says bullying in sports is often subtle and not noticed by parents and coaches. Article Index: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
More Articles:1. The Problem with Blame? If You Fix the Blame, You Ignore the Problem By Jeff Simon Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave the house for an appointment when you could not find your car keys?Imagine that you and a friend are in a hurry to leave for an important event. You turn over the couch cushions, rifle through the newspapers on the dining room table, search your previous day’s pants pockets, and dig through your purse. Your car keys are nowhere to be found.Many frantic minutes later, you finally locate the keys. But instead of heading out the door, you argue abo… 2. Is Coaching Everything That It Is Cracked Up To Be? By Allie Ochs Personal or business coaching has helped thousands change their lives and achieve their goals. Yet, for the sceptics it still is a fuzzy concept with little recognition for its benefits. Think of Celine Dion, who with a voice coach claimed world fame. Her coach unleashed what is known today as one of the most mesmerizing voices in the world.Is coaching just a buzzword to capture another niche market of those seeking instant gratification and on the spot success? Let’s take a look at good fitne… 3. Enhancing Life for a Lifetime By Theresa Castro Do you often feel lonely, anxious, or even depressed? Is a mid-life or quarter-life crisis threatening your confidence, self-esteem and well-being? Do you yearn for practical advice on enhancing, balancing and bringing new joy to your personal and professional life?Tens of millions of Americans answer a resounding “yes” to one or more of those questions. After all, statistics report that more than 19 million of us are diagnosed with depression each year. Here are seven simple exercises to enh… 4. Communicating Anger Compassionately By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an emotion everyone knows about. Unfortunately, few people have been taught how to mange this feeling in an assertive and compassionate way. If we resort to raising our voice, yelling, or lashing out when we are angry; that is an aggressive expression of anger. Approximately 70% of people have a tendency to suppress anger. In other words, they bottle it up and lash out later. Bottling up feelings often leads to ‘anger attacks’—those burs… |
||||
