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What Is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself. Having high self-esteem means that you have a positive image of yourself. Let’s look at where such a positive self-image comes from. In her classic book Celebrate Yourself, Dorothy Corkville Briggs makes a distinction between the real you and your self-image. She says that the real you is unique and unchanging. Most of your self-image—what you think is true about yourself—is learned. It is not necessarily accurate at all! Where are your beliefs about yourself drawn from? Where did you learn them? If you think about it, you’ll see that they came from: • What others said about you Your self-image is the result of all the messages you heard about yourself as a child. These messages added up to a set of beliefs about who you are. It may have nothing to do with who you really are. For example, you may believe things like: • I’m not very smart. In addition to learning to believe certain things during our early years, there are certain situations that make most people feel inferior or lacking in self-esteem. Some examples are: • Being criticized What Low Self-Esteem Feels Like In situations like these above, it is not uncommon to feel emotions such as: • Sadness Cognitive Therapy Cognitive therapy is one of the most successful methods for helping people feel better about themselves. Cognitive therapists help depressed and anxious people feel better by identifying how faulty ways of thinking are making them feel bad. They believe that faulty thoughts cause us to feel bad, which makes us feel bad about ourselves. Cognitive therapists call these faulty ways of thinking “twisted thinking.” Cognitive therapy is a process where the client analyzes his or her thoughts and beliefs, and learns to substitute more healthy ways of thinking and believing. These therapists help their clients feel better in four steps: First, identify the upsetting events that cause bad feelings; second, record your thoughts about the event; third, identify the distortions in your thinking process; and fourth, substitute rational responses. When the client successfully completes these four steps, the client usually feels better about him- or herself. Thinking the right kinds of thoughts is one way to feel good about yourself. Now let’s talk about a second way to increase your self-esteem: by taking a look at your life environment and seeing whether it supports you feeling good about yourself. You may find that some nourishing elements need to be replenished. Here are some questions to ask yourself: Do you have people in your life who: 1. Treat you with love and respect? 2. Encourage you to do and be anything you want? 3. Help you find out what you want to do, and how to do it? 4. Encourage you to explore all of your talents and interests? 5. Are thrilled when you succeed? 6. Listen to you when you need to complain? 7. Help you bounce back from failure without making you feel bad? Take a moment to think about each of the items on this list. Note where your environment is providing adequately for you, and where it is lacking. This can give you clues to how to build your own self-esteem. Strategies for Esteem Building 1. Pay attention to how you are feeling from moment to moment. Tune in to what your five senses are experiencing. Take it down to the most basic level of “I feel warm right now,” “I feel light-headed,” “I feel a tightness in my stomach.” 2. Revisit your interests and goals. Make a list of things you’d like to do and learn. Today, take one step toward learning more. 3. Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who appreciate you. 4. Spend some time with yourself at the end of each day. Review what happened and how you were feeling. Write about it in a private journal. 5. If you are feeling bad about yourself, consider finding a therapist to help you get your life on a positive track. Instantly Increase Your Traffic & Sales. - Instant Booster - Incredible Software increases your Income Instantly. Vocabulary Booster Mp3. - Vocabulary Booster Audio Book Mp3. Boost Sats & verbal Iq. Guaranteed results or your money back. Article Index: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
More Articles:1. What in the World is Life Coaching? By Cameron Powell In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy. We are all so saturated with the language of psychoanalysis – it’s difficult to read a book or watch a movie that isn’t premised on this shared language – that we probably don’t consider there was once a time when practitioners were asked:"Now, you do what, exactly?""An… 2. Let Go of Your Past By Garrett Coan People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. As long as guilt and regret are not resolved, it is difficult to move forward.The Regret EpidemicRegret is an emotion that feels similar to depression or sadness. It also feels like guilt, but it isn’t the same thing. Sometimes a wave of regret seems to come out of nowhere. You might become aware of it when you lose som… 3. The Tolerance Effect By Jeannette Kraar While working with a client several months ago, we went through a process of identifying areas of personal strengths and weaknesses. Through this exercise, we discussed various characteristics and ended up deciding that there was opportunity for improvement in her level of “tolerance”. A funny thing happened after that. When she found herself in a situation that had previously triggered a negative reaction be it disappointment, irritation, frustration, anger or even animosity (usually focused… 4. 10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Went Into the Real World By Chris Widener I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria Shriver has come out with a book called, "Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before Going Into The Real World." The real world? Come on, she grew up a Kennedy and married the biggest action movie star of all time! That aside, it got me to thinking: What are ten things I wish I would have known before going out into the real world? So, here they are...Life isn't fair. You know, your mother always told you this but as kids we never believe it. We think … |
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