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My business card says I’m a marriage and family therapist. That doesn’t very adequately describe what I do. For example, spend more than 30 seconds with a new person and the inevitable “what do you do for a living?” question arises. I usually get one of three reactions: 1) “Oh, that’s nice”, and then they walk away. (I’m really not that scary.) 2) “So are you analyzing me right now?” (As if that’s all I do in my spare time.) 3) “Oh, let me tell you about my husband/wife/kids/etc.” (Makes me want to tell people I’m a plumber!). Many folks just don’t really know what goes on in counseling. What notions they do have come from TV and movies with some boring at best and weird at worst shrink talking strange sounding psycho-babble. Good therapy is really not at all like Woody Allen whining and complaining while laying on a couch week after week forever. In fact, the only person who ever lies on my couch is me, if I’m really tired between sessions. In my humble opinion, the two best portrayals of therapists/counseling are Judd Hirsch in the 1980 Robert Redford movie “Ordinary People”, and Robin Williams in the recent award winning “Good Will Hunting” (minus the choking scene, of course!). What these two movies have in common is they show the counselor doing what I believe good therapy is really all about: coaching! That’s right, coaching. All I really do is to meet a person where they are, ask them where they want to be, and design tools and solutions to get them there. Most of the time, when things go really well, we end up moving even further than they thought they could. That’s just one of the many valuable things that good counseling/coaching has to offer. Here’s a few more that clients have shared with me: •Someone’s undivided attention for at least an hour. That’s a very rare thing in our fast paced instant culture. •New perspectives other than your own. •Tools and solutions designed for your particular struggle or challenge. •A “coach” whose job it is to help you do well in life. Even Michael Jordan had a coach. •Someone to actually listen to you. In his book “The Lost Art of Listening”, Michael Nichols says “Few motives in human experience are as powerful as the yearning to be understood. Being listened to means that we are taken seriously, that our ideas and feelings are known and, ultimately, that what we have to say matters.” •Someone to help you get “unstuck.” So many times, we get stuck in doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. A good counselor/coach can show you many other options for getting what you want in life. Remember, “if you keep doing what you have always done, you’ll keep on getting what you have always gotten.” •Someone to “check-in with” as you face the various challenges of life. After we have solved the current crisis that brought then in, many of the folks that I counsel/coach don’t do the traditional “same time next week” for the rest of their lives bit. We begin to taper off to every other week, every third week, and so on. Some people have monthly check-in appointments, others check-in 3-4 times a year. •As Scott Peck says in the opening sentence of The Road Less Traveled: “Life is hard.” There is nothing wrong with asking for some coaching along the way. Even if you have been “doing it wrong”, there’s really nothing wrong with being wrong. The only wrong thing is to keep on being wrong once you have realized you are wrong. Right? So if even Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes we will ever see, needed a coach, why not you as well. Who’s your coach? Will this be the year you give your self the present of a little “life coaching?” Success Voyeur. - Marketer Makes $750 In First 12 Days Of Mentoring. Article Index: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
More Articles:1. Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression By Garrett Coan As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you’re not sure where to start:1. Write down what happened today and how you felt about it.2. Write a letter to a person you are angry with. Say everything you are feeling and wish you had the nerve to say.3. Draw a picture of the person you wrote the letter to in #2.4. Make a list of all… 2. Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude By Glen Hopkins Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you just can't fall asleep and you have to get up early the next morning for a very important meeting of which you are the keynote speaker. Your alarm clock goes off early in the morning waking you from what little sleep you had. You stumble out of bed, have a quick shower, grab a coffee and some toast, and off you go to fight the traffic on the way to work.Does that sound like the start of a terrible day? Most would answer 'yes'. Few people howeve… 3. Get Out What You Put In! By Kimberly Stevens During a recent coaching session with Mark, I was briefly reminded of how it feels to give your all to your business and have it spit in your face.“I just don’t get it! I’m putting all my time and energy into this business, and I’m still scraping by. I’m so tired of fighting to ‘just to make it’ but this is what I really want to do.”“Tell me about what’s happening in your life,” I inquired.“My wife says I’m spending too much time working, and I know she’s right. But I also know that I’m the on… 4. What Rules! By Clyde Dennis There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.A few months ago I made a statement in a small group of co-workers concerning the fact that somewhere along the way, as a mechanism (as in "clear the... " (from the movie 'For the Love of the Game', see it if you haven't. It's awesome...)) for getting through tough situations, I developed … |
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