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In my husband's family, family members send Christmas cards to other family members (parents to children, brothers and sisters to one another, etc.) even though the family always spends time together at Christmas for a meal and gift exchange. My husband and I do not know of any other family that does this. We both always understood Christmas cards were for family members one would not be seeing because they live too far away, or that Christmas cards were sent from one family to another. We do not send Christmas cards to members of my immediate family we will be seeing. Which way is correct from an etiquette point of view? Or are they both equally correct? Are we breaching his family's tradition by not "cooperating" because we will be seeing them at Christmas? Anita Anita, which is correct--opening presents on Christmas Eve or opening presents on Christmas Day? From an etiquette point of view, they are equally correct. The same applies to your card question. Your husband's family tradition is the less common, but we know people who send cards to family members close at hand. Somerset Maugham said, "Tradition is a guide not a jailer." The same might be said of etiquette, and common sense supersedes them both. Tamara is not sentimental about cards, but she will give cards to those who especially enjoy receiving them. Because your husband's family enjoys this tradition, consider following it with them and following your own tradition with everyone else. That solves the awkwardness of receiving a card without giving one. Wayne In Memory For over 10 years I diligently cared for my wife, until she died from the complications of multiple sclerosis. During that period we had the help of a nurse who became very much a friend to both of us. I paid for her automobile club membership each year so she could get to our home in her various junk cars. After my wife died, I stayed in contact with the nurse on a platonic basis, talking on the phone monthly and sharing dinner a few times a year. I also continued to pay the motor club membership in gratitude for all she gave my wife. I felt it was a good and generous thing to do. She gave her all to us. After a long period of grief, I began to search for a new partner and started a new relationship about six months ago. I mentioned my yearly gift to my girlfriend last week when the bill came, and she became very upset with me for doing this. She described this as unethical and an infraction serious enough to end our relationship. She knows I have no romantic or sexual contact with this woman and trusts me in that regard, but is astounded I do not see the moral error in what I have been doing. I consider myself someone of high morals. I just don't get it. What principle am I violating? I am not getting answers I can comprehend from my girlfriend. She insists I discuss this with others, who will enlighten me. Clay Clay, you are a thoughtful, caring man. You and this nurse share a bond, and in honoring her you also honor the memory of your wife. There is nothing wrong in what you are doing, any more than there is something wrong with giving money to a cause in memory of someone who has passed on. Your girlfriend cannot tell you exactly what she doesn't like about your gift without revealing her true motives. Your girlfriend wants to break you away from the memory of your wife and the reality of any other woman. Often circumstances arise as a warning sign about other people. If you give in to your girlfriend, you might as well hand over your wallet, your pants, and your life. Tamara Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 8, 2003 Adultery, Cheating Spouse Help. - Dr. Phil Expert -Top Pi Bill Mitchell is an infidelity expert. He is a nationally known guest of Tv, radio and newsprint media. Walking Holidays In N Devon & Exmoor. - tailored and package walking holidays in the most scenic area of England, with Exmoor, Sw Coast Path & a World Biosphere. Article Index: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
More Articles:1. HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor By Sanjeev Himachali IntroductionThese days in corporate sector, everybody is talking about the role of HR professional as a coach and mentor. People are exited as well as confused. Exited, because it is new and it is challenging. Confused, because many are not aware of the difference between mentoring and coaching.I got the inspiration to write this write-up from one such confused e-mail from one of my professional friend. I was describing my job profile to this friend of mine, wherein I mentioned that one of my … 2. Do You Really Need A Home Business Mentor? By Rebecca Gilbert Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and failure if you want to have a successful Internet home business.Many of you have dreamed of owning your own Internet business, and have probably been involved in countless opportunities, and succeeded at none. Many fail on the Internet because they’re unwilling to put their time into it, but many fail because they don’t know what to do. They don’t know how to get started, what opportunities to join, which ones that work, and the mai… 3. Magic Potions We All Need This Time of Year By Barbara Becker Holstein As winter descends we begin to feel the chill of shorter days and less sunlight. For many of us, less hours of light combined with colder temperatures results in us feel less light emotionally. For some of us, who actually have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) gloom really sets in. This gloom often has to be offset by either full spectrum lighting and/or various psychotropic medications.For people with mild versions of feeling down or sad at this time of year, I'd like to suggest a way to l… 4. It's Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs By Inna Nirenburg I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it with you. It goes something like this:Once upon a time...The chief was sitting at the edge of the village, obviously deep in thought. He sat there for hours and hours, seemingly unmoving. The tribe was beginning to get worried and restless, but nobody wanted to disturb him. An elder eventually got up his courage and walked over. 'Chief,' he asked, 'what's going on? You look so troubled!' The chief just sat there, and the elder thought that he ha… |
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