Presence



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An important ingredient in pursuing your greatest aspirations is presence. I define presence as a state of being in which you are fully aware and knowledgeable about your self, others, and the world around you. With presence, you have awareness of not only your potential and purpose, but also about the development of your potential and purpose. In other words, you know what contributions are being made to who you are and what you can do as you go about your day-to-day living. With this knowing, you are in a much better position to pursue those activities and situations that are in sync with your capabilities and ultimate goals.

There are two very important components of Presence. The first is the awareness or knowing that we just spoke about. Many of us go on with our lives without much thought to where we are or where we are going. Our purpose and our knowledge of our capabilities are safely tucked away in the deep recesses of our minds never to be given a thought or consideration. When we increase our presence and our awareness of purpose and potential, we increase the effectiveness with which we pursue our goals and aspirations. The more effective we are in these pursuits, the more successful we will be.

The second component of presence is related to time. Not only must we be aware, but we must orient this awareness to the present moment. We all too often worry about our past and our future. We worry about the things that we have done or not done. We dwell on the mistakes that we have made. We focus our attention on what we will be doing on the weekend or on our next vacation. We spend so much time in the past and future that we forget to attend to the present. It is at this present moment that we are able to apply our capabilities in pursuing our purpose. A lack of focus on the now results in a lack of focus on our potential and purpose, and missed opportunities to grow and prosper.

So how do you improve your presence? First, develop a healthy curiosity about who you are and what makes you tick. In becoming curious about our selves we attend more to the events around us and how they affect us. Second, be selfish. I don't mean the negative type of selfish where you have a total disregard for others. I mean the kind of selfish that puts the focus of your attention on your self. Remember, before you can understand others and the world, you need to understand your self. Third, stop worrying about the past and the future. The past cannot be changed and the future can only be affected by what you do in the present. Finally, relax and enjoy yourself. The mind works much more efficiently and effectively when not burdened by the stress of trying too hard.



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Ultimate Sports Parent Radio interviews Christopher Hickey, executive director of the National Council for Accreditation of Coaching Education, about how parents can deal with difficult or bully coaches. Mental game expert Dr. Patrick Cohn provides commentary.


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